I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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