I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize