I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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