she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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