jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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