Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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