Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
