she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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