I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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