You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize