talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
