Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
