So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
