I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There are leaves in my underwear?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
