What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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