My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
True strength comes from lack of pants
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
