I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
