Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
