if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just tell him i said nine months
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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