I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize