i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
