I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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