ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
