I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
