He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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