don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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