I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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