if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
