Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
