that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
