Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
