Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
