i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
