You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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