my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
