wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
