turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
