Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
