Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
