He uses pillows to masturbate.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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