OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
