nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
