i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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