My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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