I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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