We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
