I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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