I love black thongs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
