That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
