soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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