His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
