You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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