when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
