you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
