He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
