Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
