Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
