On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize