I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
