i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize