Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
