Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
