are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
