Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
